Here’s our Christmas song. Like every good
Christmas song, it has these notes in it… pretty peppy, huh? Everybody’s heard of Rudolph,
Dominick the Donkey, even the Seraphim. But Willy the Christmas Weasel, I bet you’ve never heard of him. Willy the Christmas Weasel, he used to live by our house – meaner than any rat, sneakier than any mouse. He used to come popping out of nowhere. My childhood was fraught with fear, but Willy the Christmas Weasel saved Christmas for us one year. Santa was making his rounds, spreading his Christmas cheer, scarfing down Christmas cookies and
cake with the occasional Christmas beer. He almost caved in our roof. Him and his reindeers were as heavy as a truck, and when he tried to slide down our chimney, Santa he got stuck. Oh what would become of all the childrens on this woeful Christmas night? How ever would they get their presents with Santa wedged in tight? Little did we know Willy was hibernating
in the chimney. He built himself a little nest there. He even had a little TV. Suddenly came a scream. I thought it would knock down the walls. It seems that Willy the Christmas Weasel bit Santa right in the… chimney! Then Santa shot out the chimney. He landed with a thud in the snow. He was shouting out a whole bunch of stuff, none of which was
“ho ho ho”. Still it was a pretty good Christmas – lots of toys for little Jack. Y’know it almost seemed like Santa had a couple of extra holes in his sack. Well, they say to everything
there’s a season, so the world can turn more easily. I guess everything has a reason, even if it’s weaselly. Willy the Christmas Weasel, next year he turned up dead. Looked like he’d been thrown off the roof and then run over by a sled. But I always think of Willy whenever the yuletide falls, especially when I’m decorating the tree, hanging those Christmas… ornaments!