Inside Amy Schumer – Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup

Inside Amy Schumer – Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup


♪♪ ♪ Girl, it ain’t no lie
just look deep into my eyes ♪ ♪ You’re perfect and I think
you should know ♪ ♪ You should know ♪ ♪ That you don’t need
no lipstick ♪ ♪ You don’t need no blush ♪ ♪ ‘Cause you’ve got
that inner natural glow ♪ ♪ Magazines say that
you’re whack ♪ ♪ Girl, don’t believe them ♪ ♪ Just leave that
tabloid trash on the rack ♪ ♪ Girl, don’t you read them ♪ ♪ You’re beautiful
and who cares what they think ♪ ♪ Now wash that loving face off
in the sink ♪ ♪ In the sink, girl ♪ ♪ Girl, you don’t
need makeup ♪ ♪ You’re perfect
when you wake up ♪ ♪ Just walk around
like that all day ♪ ♪ Wipe that goop off
of your face ♪ ♪ I’ll take you
to a special place ♪ ♪ It’s something that
I’ve got to say ♪ ♪ Wipe it off (whoo)
wipe it off (yeah) ♪ ♪ Wipe it off (let’s go, girl)
wipe it off ♪ ♪ Ho-ho-ho-hold up, girl
we spoke too soon ♪ ♪ With this whole
no makeup tune ♪ ♪ We kinda changed our mind
on the makeup thing ♪ ♪ You’ll be the
hottest girl in the nation ♪ ♪ With just a touch
of foundation ♪ ♪ Girl, I can’t be seen with
the ghost from “The Ring” ♪ ♪ I didn’t know that your lashes
were so stubby and pale ♪ ♪ Just a little mascara
and you’ll look female ♪ ♪ Please listen, girl
what we’re trying to say ♪ ♪ Just get up an hour earlier ♪ ♪ And you can make yourself
much girlier (girlier) ♪ ♪ Much girlier ♪ ♪ Girl, you don’t
need makeup ♪ ♪ You’re perfect
when you wake up ♪ ♪ Just don’t go outside
like that, okay ♪ ♪ Just a little makeup
some natural looking makeup ♪ ♪ What more do I have to say ♪ ♪ Just put it on ♪ ♪ Put it on ♪
I’m trying. ♪ Just put it on
put it on (sing!)♪ ♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na
na-na-na-na, na-na ♪ ♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na
that’s not enough, girl♪ More?
♪ Na-na-na, na-na-na ♪ ♪ Na-na-na-na, na-na
na-na-na, na-na-na ♪ ♪ Na, na! ♪ Girl, I wanna
get real with you. I got a lot of regrets
in my life. I regret missing
my father’s funeral to audition for
“The Voice.” I regret being high
when my niece was born. But most of all,
I regret telling you not to wear makeup. That’s on me. But what’s on you is
hopefully more makeup. See, it’s like I tore up
the shag carpet assuming there were
hardwood floors underneath. But it turn out to be
just dirty linoleum. These are just
metaphors, girl. But they are about
your face. ♪ Girl, you do need makeup
lots and lots of makeup ♪ ♪ Think of a clown
and then work your way back ♪ ♪ You are great
except your face, girl ♪ ♪ So don’t take off
your makeup ♪ ♪ Wear it when
you sleep and swim ♪ ♪ We met someone else
we’re out ♪♪

I’m Gonna Kill Santa Claus – Official Music Video

I’m Gonna Kill Santa Claus – Official Music Video


Merry Christmas Greg Every Christmas, I’m a very good boy. I put out milk and cookies for this guy to enjoy. But Santa never brings the right toy. I felt like giving up on all this holiday joy. But if you’ve seen ‘The Santa Claus’ you know. (You know) You’ll become Santa if you put on Santa’s coat. You can kill him and leave him dead up in the snow. (Oh) The elves don’t even care about you murdering their bro! And so… This Christmas gon’ be special to me. I ain’t gonna ask for a car with a key. I ain’t gonna write to Santa and asking him please. Cause what I want for Christmas can’t fit under the tree! I wanna be Santa Claus! So I’m gonna kill Santa Claus! When I hear those reindeer paws, I’m gonna break the law! This Christmas, Don’t got a wishlist, I got a hit list! And at the top of it is Old Saint Nicholas, Nothing against him, It’s just business. I ain’t the Grinch but I’m gonna steal Christmas! I made a list and checked it twice, (Oh) For all the fucks I give about ending Santa’s life! And I found none. I’ll travel at the speed of light If I’m Santa now does that mean I sleep with Santa’s wife? Cause I’m down son. (Yeah) Fire in my fire place (Ooh), Not talking about his flying ship when I say imma slay. He gon die, son. Imma wake up Christmas day, With all the dopest presents that I force the elves to make. They’re my prisoners. I’ll never understand why this is, The way that they decide who the next Santa Claus is. How do people not believe that Santa exists? In this world aren’t adults concerned about all these gifts They didn’t buy…? I wanna be Santa Claus! So I’m gonna kill Santa Claus! When I hear those reindeer paws, I’m gonna break the law! This Christmas, Don’t got a wishlist, I got a hit list! And at the top of it is Old Saint Nicholas, Nothing against him, It’s just business. I ain’t the Grinch but I’m gonna steal Christmas! Available on Spotify, iTunes, Apple Music, and EVERYWHERE else. Link in Description! Make sure to sub and turn on notifs to join GREG. Hope you enjoyed, bye!

NEYMAR SIGNS FOR PSG!😢MSN are never getting back together…😢

NEYMAR SIGNS FOR PSG!😢MSN are never getting back together…😢


Remember when I said I want to leave in July Saying: “This is it I’ve had enough” And like “We hadn’t trained together in a month” when you said I’m sick of this place DRAMA QUEEN! What! Then pique tweets ‘he stays’ no way What! Tissue? I swear I’m going to leave! Today No Remember MSN’s glory days I say I hate you Let’s make up. don’t call me. I love you (screaming in pain) Training is called off tonight No ho ho ho ho THIS TIME IM TELLING YOU, TELLING YOU WE.. 3 ARE NEVER EVER EVER ….. GONNA PLAY TOGETHER WE 3 FOREVER, EVER, EVER! SHOULD PLAY TOGETHER! You go play with your friends. My friends play for PSG Cause, WE 3 Are never ever ever.. going to play together NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LIKE NEVER! (NOOOOOOOOO!) LIKE NEVER! (NOOOOOOOOO!) YEAH (NOOOOOOOOO!) YEAH (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) I used to think…. that we were forever ever ever, ever… I USED TO SAY…… MSN FOREVER!!! (CRIES) Uh, so Messi just calls me out and he’s like: We still love you. How about I let you win the Ballon D’Or? And I let you win the Pichichi And I’m like: This is exhausting! We’re never gonna play together! LIKE EVER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE… 3 ARE NEVER EVER EVER EVER…. GONNA PLAY TOGETHER! WE 3 FOREVER EVER EVER… SHOULD PLAY TOGETHER! NO MORE MSN NEYMAR GOES SOLO LIKE 1D (one direction) Screw FFP! You’re never ever ever ever…. getting back together Screw you guys Subtitles by the Amara.org community

“HOSTILES ON THE HILL” — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

“HOSTILES ON THE HILL” — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back


*** You can turn these captions off and on with the CC button Hey Dak, you got that backing track? Turn it on! Oh yeah Go ahead, pump it up Uh, I’d love to catch a firefly that’s far away I see your whole crew staring as I put this beat down Mmm, you’re like a soup can I’m like Superman I saw Veronica the girl that put you OFF blast Cause you played harmonica in art class I know you want her, too But you don’t move ’cause you don’t have any shoes You touch a pom-pom I touch an A-Bomb Mmm, aw yeahhh Oh look it’s a bad guy Don’t worry about it, Darius Cuz I’m a mile high and I’m the scariest I ride so hard I got you tripping You seeing how I’m flowing not dripping I think YOU’RE tripping, dog I’ll pour sauce all up on your very nice pants I like romance, you can’t dance Heart attack on deck, ain’t got a chance Kinda bright out, think I’ll put your lights out It’s not about what they want You just gotta walk your walk It’s not about what you wear It’s all about where you are I wish I wasn’t so dang sweet I wish I wasn’t so dang sweet So dang sweet, so dang sweet I wish I wasn’t so dang sweet You are like cinnamon Hey guys what you doing? Come again? I’m avoiding death And I’m really freaking Thinking somebody’s gonna shoot me You’ll be good bro I just wanna see a tree And you will! GYahhH! NO I WON’T! Sassy bad guy what do you wanna say? Before my friend pulls your legs away Cuz pretty soon, you’ll literally be tripping Here comes a hot poker What we do is wrap it wrap it round round Then we make it fall down You are like cinnamon! I wish I wasn’t so dang sweet, so dang sweet, so dang sweet What we do is wrap it wrap it round round Then we make it fall down You are like cinnamon! Hey see if you can give it more bass Hey! Where’s the music Dak is dead I wish I wasn’t so dang sweet, so dang sweet, so dang sweet It’s not about what they want You just gotta walk your walk I wish I wasn’t so dang sweet, so dang sweet, so dang sweet It’s not about what you wear [guttural growling sound] Dak? Hey guys! I think – I think Dak is a zombie! Really? What do you mean? I mean he’s a freaking zombie! But wait, didn’t your ship just get shot? Yes, but… ZOMBIE That IS terrible Yeah, you think? You are like cinnamon!

The Biggest ‘Baby Shark’ Ever w/ Sophie Turner & Josh Groban

The Biggest ‘Baby Shark’ Ever w/ Sophie Turner & Josh Groban


♪ WELCOME BACK. I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE
TONIGHT. IT IS ONCE IN A LIFETIME A SONG
COMES ALONG THAT DEFINES A GENERATION. , YOU KNOW,, A SONG THAT UNITES
US ALL TOGETHER IN BEAUTIFUL HARMONY. JOHN LENNON’S “IMAGINE.” MARVIN GAYE’S “WHAT’S GOIN’ ON.” BUT NEVER HAS A SONG SO CLEARLY
DEFINED A GENERATION AS THE ONE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT TONIGHT. A SONG SO ICONIC, IT’S BEEN
VIEWED NEARLY TWO BILLION TIMES ON YOUTUBE. THERE’S ONLY SEVEN BILLION
PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND. POWERFUL STUFF. I’M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT
THE MODERN CLASSIC, “BABY SHARK.” “BABY SHARK”. “BABY SHARK”. DOO, DOO, DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO,
“BABY SHARK”. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IT GETS
ME EVERY SINGLE TIME. AND AS THE FATHER OF THREE YOUNG
CHILDREN I HAVE HEARD IT MANY, MANY — MANY TIMES. THE BUT, YOU KNOW, WHY SHOULD
THIS SONG JUST BE FOR KIDS? THAT’S RIGHT, MOMMIES AND
DADDIES. JUST REMEMBER THAT I DON’T LIKE,
I JUST REMEMBERED I DON’T LIKE OLIVES.>>THAT’S RIGHT, MOMMIES AND
DADDIES. TONIGHT WE WILL BE PERFORMING
FOR YOU THE DEFINITIVE VERSION OF THE HIT SONG “BABY SHARK”.>>
S BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
S BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
S BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
S BABY SHARK– BABY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO BABY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO BABY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO BABY SHARK– ♪
THAT’S “BABY SHARK,” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
THAT’S RIGHT.>>James: BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU
ARE THINKING. YOU ARE THINKING, WE WANT TO
KNOW WHAT MOMMY SHARK IS UP TO. PLEASE WELCOME SOPHIE TURNER! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>♪ MOMMY SHARK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>♪ MOMMY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
♪ MOMMY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
♪ MOMMY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪ MOMMY SHARK–
MOMMY SHARK ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
MOMMY SHARK ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
MOMMY SHARK ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
MOMMY SHARK ♪>>HEY, BABY SHARK.>>James: HEY, MOMMY SHARK?>>WHERE’S OUR DADDY SHARK?>>THAT’S WEIRD. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW WHERE DADDY SHARK
IS, MOMMY SHARK.>>IS THAT IT?>>James: LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME JOSH GROBAN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>>♪ OH, DADDY, DADDY, DADDY– SHARK
♪ DADDY SHARK! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
♪ DADDY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
♪ DADDY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
♪ DADDY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
♪ DADDY SHARK DADDY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DADDY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DADDY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DADDY SHARK ♪
>>James: HEY THERE DADDY SHARK.>>HEY THERE BABY SHARK.>>WE MISSED YOU, DADDY SHARK.>>LOOKIN’ GOOD, MOMMY SHARK.>>James: HEY, GUYS, WHAT DO
YOU SAY. I THINK IT’S TIME WE GIVE THE
PEOPLE WHAT THEY CAME FOR. I WANT TO SEE THOSE IS THAT
CORRECT HANDS, PEOPLE. S BABY SHARK
D ♪ BABY SHARK
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ BABY SHARK
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ BABY SHARK
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ BABY SHARK! BABY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO BABY SHARK
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO BABY SHARK
♪ BABY SHARK! ♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>>James: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SOPHIE TURNER AND JOSH GROBAN. I’VE GOT CHILLS. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY! (BAND PLAYING)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Funny Celebrity Love Song :)

Funny Celebrity Love Song :)


Hey Paris Hilton
Your on TV, which means I love you You haven’t met me
But I’m sure that you would want me too I’ve heard a rumour
That you went out with some random guys That can’t be true though
‘Cause you’ve been faithfully mine at all times You know I am the bestest man for you Hey Paris, darling
I got no job, but that is alright, I’ll borrow money
We will go out once every fortnight I got a bike too
So we can both ride around on that And only ten friends
Will live with us in one bedroom flat You know your life will be enriched by me And you know, Paris,
I’m up and coming musician too Had a gig last Tuesday
It didn’t pay, so I’ve stolen some shoes We should get married
‘Cause we are so very much alike What say you Paris?
How ’bout that ride on my half-broken bike? You know your life will be complete with me I said ‘I love you’
You said ‘who are you?’ I saidů um, well, haha I am too star-struck
I am such a shmuck I’m all ů um, well, haha

Key & Peele – Karim and Jahar

Key & Peele – Karim and Jahar


– JAHARI, MY FRIEND. THERE ARE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN OUT HERE TODAY. [chuckles]
– YEAH. KAREEN, MY FRIEND,
YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH. – WELL, I DO WHAT I CAN. – OOH.
– OH… WOW.
– RIGHT? – HA-HA.
– BLIP. – SHA-BLOIMPS.
– [laughs] – YOU KNOW, I CAUGHT A LITTLE
GLIMPSE OF HER FOOT NUT. [clicks tongue]
– YOU SAW ANKLE BONE? – WELL… – GOT SOME ANKLE CLEAVAGE,
YOU DIRTY DEVIL, HUH? YOU SAW? – GOD, I SAW. [both talking over each other] – YES, KAREEN. [laughs]
– HEH… – VERY TASTY… – EH… – MM. – HMM-HMM.
– OH… – DUDE, DID YOU SEE
THE BRIDGE ON THAT NOSE? – I MEAN, IF IT IS
ANY INDICATION… – WOW.
– HHH-HOLY GARBANZO BEANS. – I’LL TELL YOU WHAT. THAT IS A BRIDGE
I’D LIKE TO CROSS. [both laugh] – THIS IS MY BOY.
THIS IS MY BOY. – [laughing]
– THIS IS MY BOY. OH. – HMM. – NOT A LOT TO GO ON THERE.
– NOT REALLY. NOT REALLY. GOOD HEIGHT.
– GOOD HEIGHT. – GOOD HEIGHT. – CRAZY TALL. – [growls]
YEAH, LIKE 5’9″. HEH… – COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
– [muttering] – COME ON. SHE’S TALL.
SHE’S TALL. SHE’S TALL. – THAT’S RIGHT. SHE’S TALL.
THERE’S NOTHING TO BE DONE. – GETTING WET. LET ME SEE– LET ME SEE IT FROM BEHIND.
LET ME SEE IT FROM BEHIND. THAT’S HOW YOU HIT IT.
THAT’S HOW YOU HIT IT. – JAHARI,
CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING IN CONFIDENCE RIGHT NOW?
– OKAY. – [whispers]
I’M A VIRGIN.

A Kanye Place – SNL

A Kanye Place – SNL


Love Is Like Drugs – ft. Schmoyoho (Short Version)

Love Is Like Drugs – ft. Schmoyoho (Short Version)


Michael, Y’all remember when you stole my
voice like Ursula from the Little Mermaid and you turned it into a song called Titenic? I remember it fondly. This time the song’s on purpose. You didn’t steal from me. Here it is. See you later. Whoa. I know. Don’t blow it. You know I can’t promise that. Oh I know. Was that bird shit or just like a fashion
thing? Knowing her, it’s probably both. Being in love is like being on drugs without the potential brain damage. Kisses are crack rocks you don’t have to smoke with no life ruining baggage Where are we? No life ruining baggage. And when we touch (when they touch) Oh when we touch (ah-ah-aah) I can feel it get me high, I can feel that dopamine rush. And when we kiss (when they kiss) Ooh when
we kiss (ah-ah-aahh) it satisfies my addiction without making me pass out in a pool of my piss. Being in love is like going flat broke and
getting kicked out of college. Bro where are we though? She’s like the dealer who’s trying to collect (what’s happening) and get all the payments she’s promised, get all the payments she’s
promised. And when she speaks (when she speaks) Oh, when she speaks, (ah-ah-aahh) I can feel that chemical reaction make me weep. And when we dance (when they dance) Oh when we dance (ah-ah-ahhh) it’s the substance abuse that gets me all the delight without making me start a naked bar fight. When she leaves, I need another fix. So desperate I can only be myself with another hit. Didn’t know the side effects would be so bad. Gonna end up in rehab. That means my room when I’m drowning in a
pile of cheeto bags. Cheeto bags! Being in love is like being on drugs without
the potential of dying. Snuggles are pills that you don’t have to
buy unless you’re that type of client. Unless you’re that type of client. And when we touch (when they touch) oh when we touch (ah-ah-aah) I can feel it get me high but I still can’t get enough. And when we kiss (when they kiss) Oh when we kiss (ah- ah- aah) It’s at least as good as a dank ass joint without making me rob a mom at gunpoint. Being in love is like being on drugs. So I know that’s kind of a long story but
the main point is I kind of like this one girl a bit. Cool. Did that guy flash us earlier? I think. I didn’t really look back but I thought- I think I saw the man’s parts. And they all learned something new that day And something new was learned, something new! Click here for the full video which includes me being in love with a girl I don’t know very well. And all the songs we recorded are
up there. Now please, let’s have a moment of silence for this momentous occasion. (floor creaks) Did I say moment of quiet or moment of silence Michael?! Aren’t they synonymous?
No. Quiet and silence?
No. No. No.