Jenny Slate Is Obsessed with Wedding Videos of Brides Singing to Grooms


-I imagine one
of the fears was — ’cause, obviously, like,
people were gonna film it — like, this might
be one of those — It could live on
in the Internet. Like, you also
have that pressure. -That’s right.
We’re in the future now. -Yeah, right.
-And everything is computer. -Yes.
-You know, and computer rules. So, I was like — Okay. There’s two things I’m obsessed
with on the Internet that are, like,
painful for others but I can’t stop watching them. One is —
[ Chuckles ] Sorry.
[ Laughter ] I can’t even think about it
without laughing. Failed productions
of local Peter Pans. -Yeah.
-[ Chuckles ] Where someone backstage
pulls the wrong rope and just, like, Wendy gets
ripped out of her bed. -[ Laughs ]
-Truly bad karma, but I can’t stop watching it, and there really is one
where Wendy gets ripped out, and then she is,
like, in character, and she’s like, “Oooh!” [ Laughter ]
And, like, goes back to bed. But, anyway,
then there’s this other thing that I’m obsessed with,
which is brides that sing original songs to their grooms. -Uh-huh. Oh, wow. -Because it’s like
a one-on-one thing, and there’s one video
where it’s a bride. She goes down the stairs,
and she sings a song. It, like, actually
hurts me to remember it, but I am addicted to it. And she’s like… ♪ Mm, Kevin, we are getting
married to each other ♪ ♪ Right now! ♪ And he’s like… [ Laughter ] And he — [ Laughs ] He has to stand there
and be like, “Yes, baby. You are the best singer.
You are so beautiful.” And she’s like,
♪ Our parents are there ♪ ♪ Judy and Bill,
and there is my aunt ♪ You know, it’s just
like whatever, -[ Laughs ] -So you — -I don’t want to
just be in her face being like, “You are
graduating today.” You know? So, I had to play it real cool. -I have written a song called
“First in Your Class”. -Yeah. That would have been a cool leap if I had made it
a musical number and not told her…
-Yeah. -…and just shown up
on that island. It was in a tiny church. and just been like,
“And a one and a two…” [ Laughs ]
-‘Cause I will say, My biggest fear in life
is someone singing a song directly to me.
-Oh, yeah. -That is the worst thing
in the world. -Ugh! I can’t imagine it. I mean, I guess that’s why
I watch that on the Internet, all the time, just to, like, condition myself in case I’m just
in my house one day, and someone’s like,
♪ We’re in the kitchen ♪ I’m just like, “Aaaah!
I don’t want it. I don’t want it.” -So, this is your… -[ Laughs ]
-Congratulations. That’s so awesome.
-Thank you. It was okay. It was great.
-There is a photo, too. This is in the Vineyard Gazette. -[ Chuckling ] Yeah.
-A newspaper that I’ve — I’ve read the Vineyard Gazette. -Yeah?
Do you remember last year — Now we’re a little off topic, but they had a story
about how a bird called the blue-footed booby, like,
landed on someone’s boat, and it made the newspaper. -Yeah.
-You know? That’s what’s going on. -My father-in-law had
a pet goat that died, and it got on obituary, like,
longer than a president’s. [ Laughter ] They, like, interviewed other
people in, like, rememb– Like, “What did you
think of Raisin?” They’re like, “Well,
you know, he’s like… He was like most goats,
but I guess we’ll miss him.” -Oh, man. I’m super sorry to hear
about the goat, though. -Thank you.
-[ Chuckles ] -It was weird when he died
that I didn’t hear from you. -Yeah, yeah.
I don’t know. I have a really bad personality. -So, this was in
the Vineyard Gazette. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-You and Gwen. Are you happy with the photo? -Look, Gwen looks great. I want to go on record.
Gwen, you look great. My feeling about this photo — and I can’t believe I’m gonna
do this on television — but another fear of mine,
besides brides with microphones, is this thing that
one of my friends calls “adult head spread.”
-[ Laughs ] Okay. -I call it pumpkin head. It’s this feeling that
once you get into adulthood, your head becomes,
like, a lot bigger — like, you just can’t control it. Like, you just get
adult head spread. And I saw that in the newspaper, and I was like,
“What is this year of me finding stuff out
in the newspaper that’s, like, terrible.” And I just think it might be
the start of head spread. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -And I’m also like,
you know… “Did I really need to wear
a big chunky sweater?” But that’s for another show.
-It does feel like local — -It feels like a local girl meets an out-of-towner
afraid of ticks. -Yeah, that’s right. That’s what it was.
That’s what it was. -This is your second time
playing in… “The Secret Life of Pets 2”
-Yes. -This is a very pampered dog.
I think you can tell. -Yes, Gidget. -Are you pampered in real life?
-You know what? I’m not pampered at all.
-Really? -And I was saying —
I was hoping just before I came here
to just even get, like, a lip wax.
[ Laughter ] Like, I’m out of
the mani-pedi game. It’s over.
-Really? Fully out? -Yeah, I’m just really… [ Laughter ] Wild and free.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-You’re with the ticks now. You’re running
with the ticks now. -Yeah. Oh, yeah. I live on a peninsula with my boyfriend
in Massachusetts, and we just, like,
check each other for ticks. That’s my chosen life. I like it.
-Thanks so much for coming back.

The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Almost Starved Herself To Death

The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Almost Starved Herself To Death


(crash) (slow gentle theme music) – [Narrator] Kimmy invites
D.J. to a pool party to celebrate her 14th birthday. D.J.’s concerned because unlike Kimmy, she’s
insecure about her body and won’t feel comfortable
in a bathing suit until she looks like this insane picture on the
cover of a made-up magazine. D.J. says she only has
two weeks to get skinny, and the diet starts now by
throwing these cookies away. She asks Kimmy how she stays so thin, and Kimmy demonstrates. It’s a casual mix of waste bins
and watching what she eats. D.J.’s taping half naked
models to the family fridge when Becky comes home. She says looking at these models is thin-spiration, to stay out of the fridge. Aunt Becky tries to tell
her about healthy food she can still enjoy. D.J. says she’s not trying to
think about any food at all. Becky says what really matters is keeping junk food out of the house. Uncle Jesse shows up
with a huge box of cake. D.J.’s not phased by the cake, and announces she’s going to enjoy this delicious and savory
water-pop she made herself. Jesse’s doing wedding research, and got enough cake samples
to murder a diabetic pothead. They invite D.J. to
join the frosted feast, but she says she’s fine sucking
this ice cube on a stick that even kids in third
world countries might see and say, “Yeah, no.” Michelle goes ham on that cake. D.J.’s frustrated, she only
lost half a pound in two days. Jesse says all she needs to
do to lose weight is work out, and they can all go to the gym and work out as a big family this weekend because that’s a normal thing
families do all the time. Danny makes D.J. a sandwich,
and tells her to eat up because they’re about to hit the gym. D.J. says she’s skipping lunch, and asks Kimmy if she wants the sandwich. Kimmy says it’s a ham sandwich, again, and she’s been eating her
lunch for three straight days, and doesn’t want another ham sammy. Stephanie overhears the sammy talk, and adds D.J.’s also been
skipping breakfast and dinner for three days straight, and doesn’t understand
how she’s still alive, on account of you need
to eat things not to die. D.J. promises to eat her sandwich, then promptly feeds that crap to the dog. D.J. says Comet is lucky because dogs don’t have
to wear bathing suits. Stephanie makes this face because she realizes
her sister is a dummy. Stephanie busts D.J. for
lying about the sandwich, and D.J. lies again, saying
Comet snatched it from her. Steph busts her for lying a
second time about the snatching, and when D.J. says she wasn’t
lying those last two times, Steph busts her for lying a
third time about the lies, which honestly feels a little nitpicky. D.J. tells Steph she has one week to look good in a bathing suit, and after that week, she’ll resume eating. But in that time, when D.J. will certainly
die from not eating, Steph has to pinky swear
she won’t tell anyone about her plan to starve to death. Steph reluctantly pinky sears to keep this slow suicide a secret. The fam goes to the gym, featuring a plethora of oiled
up muscle heads and women with thin strips of neon fabric
wedged up their assholes. D.J. wants to know the
best way to burn calories, those things she hasn’t had in days. Danny points her to a bike, and tells her to start slow at level one. D.J. does not have time
for that level one nonsense and takes that shit straight to level seventy god-damn five, what you know about it. The guys go with Michelle
for a cute B storyline. It’s Michelle doing cute workout stuff in cute workout clothes. It’s a real cute pallet cleanser from the harsh reality that a 14 year old they bailed on is about
to drop dead upstairs. Meanwhile, D.J. hits a new machine like she’s dying of cancer,
and this thing has the cure. Becky tells the guys to
join her in aerobics class. They say no way because it’s 1990 and (scoffs) aerobics? Until they see some of those women with fabric in their booty cracks and decide they’ll give this
aerobics a thing a fair shake, ignoring D.J. in the corner, about to have a goddamn heart attack. Aerobics class is whatever, who cares. The guys just post in the
back and look at butt cheeks. The aerobics teacher moves
these perverts to the front, and they start flailing around because they’re out of shape. It’s hilarious if you
have no sense of humor. Stephanie says D.J. has to
see this very bland spectacle. D.J. says she’ll be right there, and falls down faster than a
folding chair in a hurricane. She says she’s okay, and
just got a little dizzy because she overdid it. It meaning everything
except eating anything. Stephanie is sad her
sister’s about to die. D.J. comes down, saying she’s well rested, and nobody’s buying it. Joey said he made chicken parm, and invites her to taste the sauce. D.J. says she can’t taste the sauce because she just brushed her teeth, even though she definitely didn’t because toothpaste would
borderline count as food. D.J. starts yelling because she’s hangry, and says she’s going to dinner at Kimmy’s. Stephanie stops her because she realizes a pink
swear isn’t legally binding. She reveals D.J. hasn’t
eaten in three days. Her family warns her that
what she’s doing is dangerous because she’s riding a bus with no breaks to Crankyville that
ultimately will drop her off with her dead mom in hell. Danny runs after D.J. to console her with a boring story about
how he had body issues when he was young because he’s tall as
shit and lanky as hell, but it doesn’t matter, because your real friends
will like you no matter what, at least at this age before they start picking
friends based on things like who has a car, who has drugs, and who’d like you’d maybe
eventually sleep with. Danny makes D.J. promise she’s going to eat healthy and exercise. Then he takes her hungry ass downstairs. So what did we learn today? Food isn’t just some shit that’s stopping your
fridge from floating away. You actually need to eat
it in order to survive, and if you don’t eat food
for several consecutive days, you’re going to majorly fuck
your shit up, and maybe die. But if you know people around
you are watching their weight, don’t eat cookies out of
the trash in front of them or taunt them with a cake buffet or drag them to gym full
of impossibly fit extras when all they need is a gentle reminder that everyone’s miserable all the time, and the only thing you
can ever do about it is shove chicken parm in your mouth with people you care about. And if you see your
deliriously hungry sister talking to dogs about bathing suits, don’t wait until the brink of death to save her life because
her designated guardians will be too busy looking at butt cheeks to realize something’s horribly wrong. See you next time on a
Very Special Episode. (bell rings) (hinge creaks)

Tiana Major9 & EARTHGANG: “Collide” Ft. Jon Batiste

Tiana Major9 & EARTHGANG: “Collide” Ft. Jon Batiste


>>Stephen: PERFORMING “COLLIDE”
FROM THE SOUNDTRACK FOR THE FILM “QUEEN & SLIM,” WITH SOME HELP
FROM JON BATISTE AND “STAY HUMAN,” PLEASE WELCOME TIANA
MAJOR9 AND EARTHGANG! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
♪ EVERYBODY’S GOT OPINIONS ON OUR THING
♪ SAY WE’RE FLYING DOWN A PATH WITH NO ENDING
♪ AND IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE OOH
♪ DON’T LET ME WAKE UP FROM THIS DREAM
♪ WHEN WE COLLIDE WHEN WE COLLIDE
♪ IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER WHEN I CRASH INTO YOU, YOU, YOU
♪ CRASH INTO YOU, YOU WHEN I CRASH INTO YOU, YOU, YOU
♪ CRASH INTO YOU, YOU I’VE BEEN SO FRUSTRATED
♪ HAVE TO LET IT OUT HAVE TO LET IT OUT
♪ LET ME TELL YOU WITH MY BODY WHAT I’M TALKING ‘BOUT
♪ LET ME TELL YOU LET ME TELL YOU, OH
♪ AND I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE FUTURE OR THE PAST
♪ I DON’T CARE, I DON’T CARE NO, NO
♪ RIDING SLOW, ‘CAUSE YOU KNOW THE WORLD’S MOVING TOO FAST
♪ WHEN WE COLLIDE WHEN WE COLLIDE
♪ IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER WHEN I CRASH INTO YOU, YOU, YOU
♪ CRASH INTO YOU, YOU, YOU WITHOUT YOU
♪ I’M JUST A FRACTION CLOSING IN ON MY DEMISE
♪ AND I LOVE YOU RELIGIOUSLY WITH EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME
♪ AS LONG AS I’M AS LONG AS I’M ALIVE
♪ WHEN WE COLLIDE WHEN WE COLLIDE
♪ IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER WHEN I CRASH INTO YOU, YOU, YOU
♪ CRASH INTO YOU, YOU, YOU WHEN WE COLLIDE
♪ WHEN WE COLLIDE IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER
♪ WHEN I CRASH INTO YOU YOU, YOU
♪ CRASH INTO YOU, YOU, YOU ♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Can You Feel It? with Selena Gomez

Can You Feel It? with Selena Gomez


-All right, buddy.
-Oh, good. -Here’s how —
-Good. I love doing things with you. [ Laughter ] -Here we go, here we go.
-Okay. -All right.
I don’t like this, either. Here’s how it works.
We’re gonna have a number of mystery objects
brought out in front of us, and our job is
to guess what each one is. The catch is that we have to
figure it out by touch alone. We can never see
what’s in the box. -Oh, gosh.
-I know. I’m gonna freak out. I thought I smelled an animal
backstage. [ Laughter ] I think I did.
-Was that you? [ Laughter ] -All right. So, Selena, since
I’m the host, I’ll go first? -Okay.
-Wait. What? All right,
let’s get to our first object. Oh.
-Can I see what’s…? -Yeah, you can see it,
but don’t lie to me and make it —
if it’s crazier than it is. [ Audience “Ohs”, laughter ] -Ha!
Go for it. -Ah. Here we go.
[ Inhales sharply ] [ Cheering ] -Oh. Oh! [ Laughter ] -What?!
Go for it. -No, but he said
something weird. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] ♪♪ -Aah!
Gross! -What the heck? -Ooh! Ew!
[ Laughter ] It’s — uh, uh, a egg? -Yeah.
-Egg? [ Ding! ]
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -That was a lot. -This is the first one.
It’s kind of easy. -You barely touched it.
-I touched it enough. I touched it enough
to know what it was. -Okay.
-It was — I didn’t like its viscosity.
-Okay. [ Audience “Oohs” ] [ Laughter ] -[ Laughing ] Oh. Oh-ho-ho! [ Audience screams ] ♪♪ -I feel like it’s hair. -Yes!
It is hair. Oh, my — Wow! [ Ding! ]
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ How did you —
You have guts, man. -I don’t even want to see it.
Just — Just go away. [ Laughter ] That’s so gross. No!
[ Laughter ] -All right.
My turn again. Oh, no!
-[ Laughs ] -I feel like the rounds
get crazier. -Oh.
[ Cheering ] [ Audience “Ohs” ] ♪♪ -I don’t — -Whoo!
-Whoo! -Whoo! [ Audience shouting ] ♪♪ -Yeah?
-No! I didn’t feel anything. I’m just freaking out.
[ Laughter ] -You can do it!
-Gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh. -Come on.
-All right. ♪♪ Aah! [ Audience shouting ] ♪♪ [ Buzzer ] -Is it like a tongue
or something? -Oh. -Is it like a chicken
or a tongue or something? -Nope.
It’s a brain. -Ew!
What the — What?!
[ Laughter ] Wait.
What in the what? -Is it real?
No, it’s not real. -Is that a real brain? -It’s a cow brain. -It was cow brain? Get Purell right now.
This is insane. -Ew.
[ Laughter ] -What’s wrong with people?
Okay, get this out of the way. This is good.
All right. The final round.
-Is this the final? -Well, it is for me. Sure.
-Okay. -That was
the final round right there. Cow brain.
All right, this is up to you. -What do I do?
[ Audience “Awws” ] That’s sad.
What do I do? -All right,
you do the same thing. -I do it?
-Yes, you do it. [ Laughter ] [ Audience screams ] -Is it my dog? No.
[ Laughter ] ♪♪ I don’t know what the [bleep] [ Laughter and applause ] -Hey! hey!
Come on. -I’m sorry.
-It’s a family show! You see what you made her do?!
-I’m so sorry. -You see what you made her do?!
You see what you made her do? -Oh, that’s so cute. -Wait. I get cow brain,
and she gets a stuffed animal? [ Laughter ] -I’m so sorry.
-Get this thing out of here. I can’t believe it.
-I’m sorry. -All right, it’s time
for the final round. For this one, we’re both
gonna get the same item. The first person
to guess it wins. -Okay.
-All right. Let’s do this. -Yep. All right.
-All right. [ Audience “Ohs” ] ♪♪ [ Audience screams ] -Do you smell that? What?
It’s, like, food. ♪♪ -Smells like… [ Audience screams ] -No. ♪♪ I think it’s food
for, like, a duck. No? ♪♪ -Oh, my God!
-What? What? [ Buzzer ]
-It is so gross. It’s, like,
maggots or something. -No!
-What are they? -No!
-Oh, my gosh! -Oh, my God.
-What were they? [ Cheers and applause ] -What? -Those are mealworms. Judges, who is the winner? Audience, what do you think?
Who won? -Selena! [ Ding! ]
-Selena Gomez, champion. Mealworms. Stick around!
We’re talking to Selena after the break, everybody! [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪

[1 HOUR ] Gifs With Sound #5

[1 HOUR ] Gifs With Sound #5


+18
MAY CONTAIN CONTENT INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN

Meanwhile… Billie Eilish’s “Bond” Theme Is Going To Be A Huge Hit

Meanwhile… Billie Eilish’s “Bond” Theme Is Going To Be A Huge Hit


FOLKS, YOU MIGHT KNOW, IF YOU
WATCH THE SHOW — AND I HOPE YOU DO, YOU PROBABLY DO SINCE YOU’RE
WATCHING NOW, THEN YOU KNOW I SPEND A FAIR AMOUNT OF THE SHOW
OVER THERE, HAND-CRAFTING THE DAY’S NEWS
INTO THE BALSA WOOD HULL, TOOTHPICK MAST, AND
THREAD-NEEDLE RIGS OF THE BESPOKE SHIP-IN-A-BOTTLE THAT IS
MY MONOLOGUE. BUT ONCE IN A WHILE, I LIKE TO
SUCK DOWN A FEW FREEZE POPS, SLATHER ON SOME ELMER’S, AND
CONTAMINATE AN ESTUARY POND WITH THE POPSICLE STICK RAFT OF
NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: ♪
♪ “MEANWHILE!”
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT BRINGS HOPE TO A TROUBLED
NATION. THAT’S WHAT IT DOES. “MEANWHILE!” IS A BEACON IN THE
DARKNESS. MEANWHILE —
A STUDY HAS REVEALED THAT “TINDER, GRINDR, AND OTHER
DATING APPS SHARE SENSITIVE PERSONAL DATA WITH ADVERTISERS.” SO IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR
DRY SPELL, DON’T WORRY– THE ENTIRE MARKETING DEPARTMENT AT
T.G.I. FRIDAY’S KNOWS HOW HORNY YOU ARE. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SIDE OF WINGS? SOME WINGS, MAYBE? MEANWHILE, “A KANSAS MAN HAS
ASKED AN IOWA COURT TO GRANT HIS MOTION FOR TRIAL BY COMBAT SO HE
CAN MEET HIS EX-WIFE AND HER ATTORNEY “ON THE FIELD OF
BATTLE.” HUH. I WONDER WHY IT’S HIS “EX” WIFE. “WE JUST HAD DIFFERENT
INTERESTS. SHE LOVES TRAVEL, AND I’M INTO
BLOODSPORT JUSTICE.” ( LAUGHTER )
AND “HE ASKED THE COURT TO GIVE HIM 12 WEEKS ‘LEAD TIME’ IN
ORDER TO SOURCE OR FORGE KATANA AND WAKIZASHI SWORDS.” ( LAUGHTER )
WAIT, YOU THROW DOWN FOR TRIAL BY COMBAT AND YOU DON’T HAVE
YOUR SWORDS READY? YOU CAN’T BUILD IN A WAITING
PERIOD. “HEY PAL, YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS
OUTSIDE? …IN 12 WEEKS. I JUST NEED TO WORK OUT A BIT. IT’S RIGHT AFTER THE HOLIDAYS. I’M FEELING KIND OF BLOATED.” ( LAUGHTER )
MEANWHILE, A MICHIGAN TOWN HAS BOUGHT A “NASAL RANGER” TO TRACK
DOWN STINKY MARIJUANA PLANTS. THERE IT IS, BEING USED IN THE
FIELD. “MY GOD, IT’S WORSE THAN WE
THOUGHT. EVERYONE IN TOWN MUST BE HIGH. THEY’RE ALL LAUGHING
HYSTERICALLY.” ( LAUGHTER )
IF YOU’RE THINKING, “HOW DO I GET ONE OF THOSE FOR MY FACE?”
BRACE YOURSELF. THE NASAL RANGER COSTS $3,400. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
BUT THINK OF ALL THE MONEY YOU’LL SAVE ON NEVER DATING. ( LAUGHTER )
MEANWHILE, “A MAN IN PHILADELPHIA ATE 500
CHEESESTEAKS IN 20 MONTHS.” WHEN ASKED WHY, HE SAID, “I WAS
TRYING TO FIND WHAT TO DO WITH THE SECOND HALF OF MY LIFE.” ( LAUGHTER )
AND WHEN YOU EAT 500 CHEESESTEAKS, 20 MONTHS IS THE
SECOND HALF OF YOUR LIFE. ( LAUGHTER )
MEANWHILE, “A NEW STARTUP WANTS TO PUT A TINY DISPLAY ON A
CONTACT LENS,” MAKING IT THE “WORLD’S FIRST TRUE SMART
CONTACT LENS.” PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO LOOKED AT
GOOGLE GLASS AND SAID “YEAH, IT’S DUMB, BUT I WISH IT COULD
GIVE ME AN EYE INFECTION.” ( LAUGHTER )
MEANWHILE, SINGER “BILLIE EILISH HAS CONFIRMED THAT SHE WILL BE
PERFORMING THE THEME SONG FROM THE UPCOMING JAMES BOND FILM.” IF YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH
BILLIE EILISH– I KNOW. YOU’RE WATCHING MY SHOW. ( LAUGHTER )
CBS. SO HERE’S A CLIP FROM HER HIT
VIDEO, “BAD GUY.” WHITE SHIRT, NOW RED. MY BLOODY NOSE. SLEEPING
YOU’RE ON YOUR TIPPY TOES. CREEPING AROUND LIKE
NO ONE KNOWS. THINK YOU’RE SO
I’M THE BAD GUY. DUH. ♪
♪ ♪
>>Stephen: AM I SUPPOSED TO DANCE OR PASS THIS VIDEO ALONG
SO I DON’T DIE IN SEVEN DAYS? ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DOESN’T SEEM HAPPY. DOESN’T SEEM HAPPY. NOW, IF BILLIE EILISH’S WHOLE
VIBE SEEMS LIKE A WEIRD FIT FOR “BOND,” WE HAVE A SNEAK PREVIEW
THAT SHOULD REASSURE YOU. ♪
♪ ( LAUGHTER )
JAMES BOND, YOU ARE A SUPERSPY MOVIE. IT’S CALLED NO TIME TO DIE. WE GET JAMES BOND. HE’S A BOND GUY. DUH. ( GUNFIRE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>STEPHEN: WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH JOSH GAD.

One Second Songs with Finn Wolfhard

One Second Songs with Finn Wolfhard


-I wanted to challenge you maybe
to a game. -Sure.
-If you don’t mind, to kind of put your music knowledge
to the test. You up for this?
-Yeah. -It is time for One Second
Songs, Songs, Songs. [ Cheers and applause ] Alright. Here’s how this works. -That was the fastest
The Roots intro I’ve heard in my entire life.
-♪ One Second Songs ♪ -Give me another one.
-♪ One Second Songs ♪ -We’re going to hear one second
of a random song. And the first person to grab
this mic and identify the song wins that round. And you have to
start each round with your hands
behind your back. -Alright.
-Let’s get into position. Alright, here we go.
-What if I just, like, glued your hands together —
handcuffed you kind of to the chair. -I’d believe that
the movie is real. -Right, exactly, yeah.
-Alright, here we go. Let’s hear the first song.
-Oh. -“Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. [ Cheers and applause ]
[ Ding ] -This is not — you have
a way better angle at this. -Yeah, that’s true, yeah.
-Hold on. -Well, it’s not like your
grabbing from — -Yeah, but you’re at level.
And I have to kind of go up. -Oh, interesting, yeah. Do you want to put it
on the ground? [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. -Alright.
-I’m sorry. Yeah. -Let’s hear the next song.
Ready? -Oh.
-“Don’t You Forget About Me.” -Yeah, very good.
[ Ding ] I might get shut out.
-No, wait, really? -If I stand up this will be
easier. -Yeah, yeah. let’s stand up.
-Okay. Alright. I’ll give you an advantage.
I’ll stand over here. -That’s — I’ll take it.
-Let’s hear the next song. -♪ Work sucks ♪ -Blink-182.
“All the Small Things.” -Yes.
[ Ding ] -Why did I talk into it.
-I don’t know why we talk into it.
-There was no reason. It’s just off.
-It doesn’t even work. There’s no batteries in there.
-There’s no batteries. -Sorry, it’s not even
a real microphone. It’s made out of chocolate
we got down at the candy shop downstairs.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -Alright, here we go. Now, I’m
closer because I’m nervous. Let’s hear the next song. -Did I fake you out?
-No. But now you have — -“Never Ending Story.” -Yeah, but that
gave you time to think. [ Ding ]
[ Cheers and applause ] But that was in your last
season. Alright. -It gave me time to Google it.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
Mentally googled it. -I have Shazam open in my phone. -For this final round lets up
the stakes a bit. We’re only going to play a
quarter of a second of the song. -There’s no — alright,
whatever. It’s fine. -Whoever wins this is the super,
uber champion. Ready? [ Cheers and applause ] -I’ve heard this song too many
times. It’s Smash Mouth. -Yes.
[ Ding ] Finn Wolfhard, everybody.
[ Cheers and applause ]

Lev Parnas Sings!

Lev Parnas Sings!


>>LEV PARNAS, THE INDICTED
ASSOCIATE OF RUDY GUILIANI, DIRECTLY IMPLICATES PRESIDENT
TRUMP IN THE MONTHS-LONG EFFORT TO PRESSURE UKRAINE TO
INVESTIGATE THE BIDENS.>>APPARENTLY, HE WANTS TO SING.>>IF HE WANTS TO SING, IT’S
BEST FOR HIM TO SING TO THE FEDERAL PROSECUTORS, REALLY.>>AND NOW… LEV PARNAS SINGS! ♪ ♪ ♪
>>ANNOUNCER: IT’S “THE LATE SHOW” WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.

Selena Gomez Reacts to Wizards of Waverly Place Theme Inspiring Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy”

Selena Gomez Reacts to Wizards of Waverly Place Theme Inspiring Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy”


-The last time
you were here, we did — This was the last time
I saw you — we did “Hot Ones.” -Yes.
-And we actually ate the hottest wings in the world.
-Right. -And I don’t know if anyone saw
it, but, I mean, this is — It was real. We really ate, like,
the hottest wings. [ Cheers and applause ] -It was — It was not —
It was not great — for me. -Well, it was — it was —
[ Laughter ] -Like —
[ Laughter ] -I mean, I was —
I was crying but — -I was, too.
-No, I know. But the best part —
[ Laughter ] -Oh, no.
-The best part was going backstage
to check on you after the bit, ’cause I was like —
[ Laughter ] -No.
-‘Cause I was like, dude. I was freaking out,
’cause my mouth was on fire. And I’m, like,
eating bread and whatever. And I was like,
“Oh, I’ll go check on Selena, see if she’s okay.” And I walked
into your dressing room. Do you remember?
-Yes, of course I do, vividly. -You were throwing up
into a sink. [ Laughter ] -Stop.
-You turn around, I go, “It’s gonna be fine.
It won’t be that bad.” And you turned around and your
mascara was all down your face. [ Laughter ] And you had drool — you had
drool coming out of your mouth. And you go, “Get — Get out.”
-Yes. [ Laughter ]
That’s the nicer version. -Yeah, that’s the nicer version.
-I was like — -“Get out,” and that’s
the last time I saw you. So I didn’t know —
I’m happy you came back. [ Cheers and applause ] You’re a good sport.
You’re a good sport. [ Applause ] You got a lot going on.
“Dolittle.” You have a voice
in that movie, “Dolittle.” -Yeah.
-It comes out on Friday. -Yeah.
-And “Rare” is out now. Finally, it’s out.
-I know, it’s been — -I mean —
[ Cheers and applause ] -It’s been 4 years,
4 1/2 years now, before I’ve released anything,
so… -Are you happy it’s finally out?
-Yes, I am very happy. I think I had — I was holding
my breath for four years, and then, finally,
I just exhaled. And now it exists.
-Yeah. Now it’s out there. And everyone’s loving it,
by the way. It’s getting —
[ Cheers and applause ] It’s a great album.
-Thank you. -“Rolling Stone” loves it. “Billboard” calls you
“Triumphant.” “Variety” said “‘Rare’ is one of
the best pop albums to be released
in recent memory.” “Time” says,
“‘Rare’ is a pop gift.” These are great, killer reviews.
-Wow. -Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Well, I love —
“Lose You to Love Me” was the first thing you — the first song you released
off this album. -Right.
-And, man, oh, man, that was — That’s a great jam.
And I think everyone liked it, ’cause they were like —
‘Cause it’s personal. -Yeah. I mean, I think
there came a point in my life where there were so many things
being said on my behalf. And I found myself
protecting people that didn’t really protect me. ‘Cause I didn’t want, you know,
to start anything. And I — But I had a right
to say my side of this story. And I felt like — I felt like
that was so liberating, because it almost felt like
I had let it go, personally, inside of me,
once it was out. And that — I mean, that’s
the greatest gift, I think. -It’s tough, right?
To just do that. I mean, I couldn’t imagine
writing a song, just putting all your feelings
out there. -Yeah.
-Not only was it received well, but, like, it might be — was it
one of your biggest songs ever? -Yeah, it was.
-It is your biggest song ever. [ Cheers and applause ] So it’s good to take a risk. It feels good,
you take a risk like that. -It was —
I was very, very grateful. -Broke all sorts of records.
So… Anyways, I’m happy
the album’s out. You worked on —
Maybe on that song with Finneas — is that
Billie Eilish’s brother? -Yeah, actually, he —
We finished up the song and gave him the song
to produce it himself. And he did an amazing job. He’s obviously
extremely talented. -Yeah, we talked to him when
Billie Eilish was on, as well. And I found out —
I don’t know if you know this. But you have something in common
with Billie. You’re an inspiration
for the song “Bad Guy.” But not you. -Am I the bad guy?
-You’re not the bad — no. -No, I’m kidding.
-The theme song of “Wizards of Waverly Place”…
[ Cheers ] …was an inspiration —
[ Cheers and applause ] was an inspiration to her —
to getting the tune. -That’s —
-Isn’t that bizarre? -I love you.
-So, I thought maybe it’d be fun to play —
-I love Billie. -…to play a little bit
and see if we can see… -Oh, gosh. Okay.
-…what inspired her. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Okay. -Here’s a little bit
of “Wizards.” -Okay.
-Okay? -Oh, no.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -♪ Well, you know everything
is gonna be a breeze ♪ ♪ That the end will,
no doubt, justify the means ♪ ♪ You could fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪ ♪ Yes, please ♪ -Oh, my God!
[ Laughter ] ♪ Ba, ba-doo doo ♪ -Yeah.
-That’s kind of — right? Here’s “Bad Guy.” [ “Bad Guy” plays ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -That’s so cool.
-Kinda, right? Isn’t that cool?
-That’s so cool. -That’s pretty fun.
I think that’s cool. What do you want people
to take away from the album when they listen to it? ‘Cause you got
a lot of tracks on here. -Yeah.
-13. -I think what was most important
for me with this record is to make sure
that every single song, whether it was the lyric
to the production, to mean something
and to actually hold weight. And, you know, one of my
favorite songs is “Vulnerable” on the track and —
or, “Vulnerable” on the album. And I think it’s —
it was a way of me hoping… like, hoping I could just
be a voice for people who are in
the same situation I’m in, whether it’s something mentally
that people struggle with or relationships, friendships. I wanted to be as honest
as I could. And the only thing that I wanted
was to make people feel good. And, you know, during all
the mess that’s happening, I think that I’m very lucky
to be in a position where I can make people
feel good. -Did you always know the album
was gonna be called “Rare”? -Yes.
-You did? -The moment we started
four years ago. -Is that right?
-We worked on “Rare.” And I just said,
before we finished anything, I said, “This is gonna be
the name of my album.” -Really?
-The word is so special. And it means a lot. And I think, in this time,
where everyone is obsessed with feeling like
they need to look the same way or get things done
or whatever it may be — And I mean, I’m —
Obviously, I don’t judge. I’m just saying there are
some girls who are hurting because they feel like
they don’t fit in. But this word
is eliminating that, because you weren’t meant
to look like everyone else. You’re meant to be who you are, and that’s unique,
and that’s rare. [ Cheers and applause ] -Awesome, buddy. I love every single thing.
-Thanks so much. -Congrats on the album.
It’s out now. “Dolittle” is out Friday.
Are there — Is there any other —
I always feel like — ‘Cause, like, for me,
if I put out a record, if there’s 13 tracks,
I probably — that is — That’s all I wrote was 13.
-Yeah, yeah. -Maybe 10, you know? And I put two bonus things
on there. -Sure.
-But I feel like a real artist probably — do you have, like,
other songs that didn’t make it to “Rare” that are out?
That are done? Finished? -Maybe there’s a few things.
Yeah. There’s a few other songs that I
couldn’t help but want to exist. So I can’t really tell when, but one of my favorite tracks
is called “Boyfriend.” So I can’t wait for people
to hear that one. -Wow.
That’s awesome. I love you.
It was good to see you. Selena, I love you.
You’re the best, buddy. Selena Gomez, everybody!
“Rare” is out now!